Welcome to the secret shopping blog. We keep a diary of our experiences in the secret shopping and mystery shopper business.

I was recently at a business conference and had the pleasure of hearing an awesome motivational speaker. Now, I realize that this persons’ job was to motivate, but it really worked. I left the conference fired up and ready to take on the challenges of the outside. One of the programs that I attended was on communication. Which brings me to what I would like to write about in today’s blog, “How I learned to communicate better?”

Basically, there are four styles of communicating:
1. Aggressive
2. Passive
3. Passive-Aggressive
4. Assertive

Aggressive communicators believe, “I count, You don’t”

Passive communicators believe, “You count, I don’t”

Passive-Aggressive communicators believe, “I count and I won’t tell you that you don’t”

Assertive communicators believe, “I count, You count,”
Do any of these ring a bell in how you communicate?

I fall into the Passive-Aggressive type and the more detailed description that was given at the conference really hit home. Now, one of the points of the program was that ideally, we should all try and be more assertive. That means the Aggressive person backs down a little, the Passive person steps up, and the P-A person sees the picture more clearly and more caring, and with a choice.

Now, as far as secret shopping goes, how does this relate to how we communicate as an industry overall. Are we the loud, pushy, demanding type or the quiet, accommodating type of communicator? Again, the point is to be more assertive, to say what you mean, to mean what you say, and don’t be mean when you say it. Wow, it’s not brain surgery; it’s speaking the truth (communicating), without conflict to get the results you need. How many times have you shopped someone and they spend a whole 40 seconds on the call/sale and are done? If we say it once, we’ll say it a million times, if you can’t dedicate your very best to every call or sale, why are you there? Treat every call/sale like there is something riding on it. In fact, something is always riding on it. It might be your job, an incentive, a bonus, an evaluation, a raise, monitoring or hey, what about this one…..a customer!!

I learned five steps to being more assertive:
1. Breathe (you’ll get all red in the face if you don’t)
2. Use “I” statements (I need…, I feel like…, I am…)
3. Slow down and deepen your voice (don’t be rushed and squeaky)
4. Watch your non-verbal communication (eye contact, weight distribution, body language)
5. Be nice—there is policy and there is policy… (Being nice…seems like an easy thing)

Let’s try and be nice. Visualize your goals and remember to appreciate the people that are good to you, and surround yourself with positive people. It’s catchy.

**I would like to thank Marilyn Sherman, owner of UpFront Presentations for the information she shared with us that day. Marilyn rocks!! If you ever have the chance to see her speak, go; trust me it’s worth it. And don’t forget to sit in the front row… wink, wink.**

xoxoxo,
Natalie

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